Strangers!

“A person or thing that is unknown or with whom one is unacquainted”

This is how the word stranger is defined. This is the word with which we become familiar very early during our growing years. “Don’t talk to strangers!” “Don’t smile at strangers!” These are the sentences that acquaint us with the word stranger/s very early on in our life. And, we are supposed to follow these advices! If we ignore them, then, they become strict instructions! I, generally, followed these instructions. Except for guiding some stranger to a given address, I avoided talking to them. And, I followed these instructions strictly till my school years.

As I continued my studies through the college and University, I realized that strangers are not something to fear or avoid. They are not aliens; they are fellow human beings just like us. The only thing that brands them as 'strangers' is the fact that I don’t know them.  Being a student of sociology, I also realized that I cannot avoid strangers.

People are an integral part of any sociological study. Without them, I cannot think of studying any social system, structure, function, culture, or even the most abstract concepts like myths and symbolism. People are central to understanding these concepts. These concepts do not exist in themselves; they have some relevance only in relation to people. And, people are strangers, because I may not be acquainted with many or majority of them. This is the irony!

I prefer not to call them strangers! They are the ones who familiarize me with the subjects of my study. They are the ones who introduce me to the community; take me around the community to understand its physical layout, which I consider vital in understanding its social layout/structure.

In my professional life, every now and then, I had to deal with unknown people or strangers; where the only thing known was the subject of my research and the fieldwork area. That knowledge too was based largely on secondary sources.

I vividly remember waiting at the Najafgarh Tehsil or the District Magistrate’ office to check and copy land records pertaining to the village I was studying. I was trying to understand the land use pattern. There, invariably, I used to start a conversation with fellow strangers waiting for their own businesses. Most of them were men called Chaudhries; as women seldom visit these offices unless and until it was essential to bring them in connection with some disputed land ownership or other cases.

The Chaudhries used to be very interested in knowing about the purpose of my visit. They were very curious to know what I (as a woman) was doing in the Tehsil office. They used to listen very patiently as I explained the purpose of my visit to them. Most of these Chaudhries in the Najafgarh area belong to the ‘Jat’ community. And, they have very good sense of humour! In fact, their sense of humour still amazes me! Their way of explaining something, use of words and phrases, gestures – all made those explanations very hilarious. While talking to them, I could not stop myself from breaking into laughter every now and then. Then, they would say smilingly, “Aap haste bahut ho! Accha hai!” (You laugh a lot! It’s good!).

I always had a good time there. The same thing happened when I started my fieldwork in Dhansa village. The 'strangers' were the most helpful people I have ever come across! That used to make me wonder – Are these people still strangers? With them, I was discussing and sharing everything that I would do with a friend or colleague. Over small glasses of tea (they used to drink it very often and I had to politely refuse it several times) and lunch, I could never understand when they transformed from being mere strangers into known people.

Strange are the ways of life with strangers! I can never forget them. I still break into laughter or a smile whenever I remember some parts of those conversations! It’s hard to control!